I’m the middle child of three and I love it. While you may be the oldest, youngest, or even an only child…in a way you’re in the middle too. This point has become very clear to me as I’m in business school. On the one hand, I’m reaching above me to set up networking chats and meet and greets and on the other hand I’m being sought out for conversations about getting into business school and what it’s like once one enrolls. I’ve realized our time in the middle never stops. We’ll always be striving to advance while also propping open the door for those coming behind us. Our spiritual growth is a continual journey of where we are, where we once were, and where we are heading.
“Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3: 13-14) Commentary (Life Application Study Bible, New International Version): Don’t dwell on your past. Instead, grow in the knowledge of God by concentrating on your relationship with him now. Realize that you are forgiven, and then move on to a life of faith and obedience. Look forward to a fuller and more meaningful life because of your hope in Christ. The truth is we are always developing, and always growing into the person God would have us to be. Let’s keep running the race and encouraging those on the track with us. Let’s give it all we got and keep running til the end. “For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” (2 Timothy 4: 6-8)
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Since January I’ve been riding my bike to school a few days a week (thank goodness LA “winters” are mild!) and it has been an interesting experience. Prior to this year, I probably hadn’t ridden a bike in years. I bought a used mountain bike and it’s getting the job done but for a few weeks I was doing more work than I had to. The bike was in the wrong gear. I was peddling like mad but not getting anywhere. I felt slow and ridiculous on the sidewalk, praying no one I knew saw me passing by. Ok I’m being a bit dramatic, but I definitely wasn’t getting to class as efficiently. I had a suspicion I should shift my gears but it was awhile before I went from thought to action but when I did my biking experience was vastly changed. My commute to school was cut in half! When I went up to the next gear, my strength was greater utilized, and I was getting to where I needed to be faster. The whole process reminded me of our relationship with God. How often do we exert excess energy/waste time when it could be so much easier? What are we resisting that while challenging could be the best thing for our lives? As scary as it may be to shift to the next gear…what blessings could we be missing out on because we’re not stepping out on faith? “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6)
And with faith there will always still be challenges but an eventual reward. “…Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated—the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground. They were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.” (Hebrews 11: 35-40) So as we’re riding through life it is important that we continue to shift gears and grow in our faith. “But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God, instruction about baptisms, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgement. And God permitting, we will do so.” (Hebrews 5:14, 6:1-3) Now that I’m back in school full-time and not working, I have become much more resourceful. $17 for a spiral notebook at the campus bookstore? I think I’ll just scrounge together my unused paper from last semester. $500 a semester for a parking pass? I think I’ll buy a used bike and get my exercise. The examples go on and on; and, they go beyond money. Recently, I’ve had to complete tasks that have really tested my resources. Things I always had the capacity to complete but probably wouldn’t complete if I had the choice to hand off to someone else like assembling and installing a new hubcap for my car or navigating the administrator portion of the business school website to create and share a campus event. These recent tasks showed me that I’m capable of so many things if I actually try. Instead of asking some guy for help I could (thanks to Youtube) properly install my retention ring and find where the valve stem was or figure out a new website interface. The new tasks also taught me independence and reminded me of the confidence that through God all things are possible. “Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.” (2 Corinthians 3: 4-5)
This newly discovered independence must be necessary for something God has tasked for me in the future. As I look toward to the future, to be ready—I must strengthen my knowledge and study of the Word. “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3: 16-17) Not only will the Word equip us, it will bless us. “Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord. The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.” Proverbs 16: 20-21 I'm not one for spring cleaning but in making my move to California I've decided to forgo shipping my furniture and start fresh aka sell/donate/giveaway everything but basically my everyday clothes. As taxing as the process was, it was also surprisingly cathartic. The process became very simple when I realized a lot of items I hadn't touched in the two years I lived in Louisville; be it a dress that hung untouched in my closet or a box that collected dust in my storage unit. It was harder to let go of some things that held memories but I realized in giving them away someone else could have new memories. Some of those "memories" while good at the time have grown sour...why hold on to a dress I last wore to a formal event with an ex? Should I hold on to a dresser drawer I walked by for 2 years and didn't use?
Covetousness and or not letting go of things is something I have to work to counter each day. “‘Watch out! Be on guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12: 15 As scary as it is to start fresh I know it has purpose “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; so you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43: 18-19 I can't wait to see the new memories I make in California! “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.” Psalm 40:3 God is still doing the improbable. “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things and the things that are not to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God that is our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: ‘Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 1: 27-31) That scripture beautifully illustrates my grad school journey. Going into the process I knew I had a pretty well-rounded application with my college transcripts and work experience but I knew my test scores would be my Achilles heel. Let’s be honest…with my test scores I shouldn’t have been granted an interview much less been offered a fellowship covering tuition and fees but God. But God was in the midst.
I took the GRE three times and each time I knew my score was below the average for accepted students into USC Marshall School of Business. But I leaned on God and in faith pressed forward with my application. After 5 months of work it was decision time…would I still submit my application even if I didn’t think it was top-notch? I think at this point the enemy wanted me to quit; to not even try, to stop short of the finishline. But I preserved in faith. “My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 74: 26) It would be a month after I submitted my application before I was contacted for an interview and another two months before I would be awarded my fellowship. But God came through. “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26) I hope my journey encourages you to continue on the path of whatever you are working on and remember God has the final say! In most scenarios tunnel vision may not be the best thing to have but I think it can be a good thing sometimes in our spiritual lives. When you have tunnel vision you can focus on what God is doing in your life and what plans He has for you down the line and not be so focused on other people’s blessings and achievements that you become jealous and sidetracked. “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” (Proverbs 14:30) At times it may be frustrating when you feel like other people are accomplishing more or walking in God’s favor but you must remember God’s timing is perfect and you must trust His plan; He makes no mistakes.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5) A beautiful thing about life is that God made us each different and we each have a unique purpose as customized and special as our fingerprints. In the bible was every person named Abraham? Moses? David? Was every person God used a king? The head of their family? Was anyone perfect? Was anyone able to accomplish their purpose without God? The answer to all those questions would be no. “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things and the things that are not to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God that is our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: ‘Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.'” (1 Corinthians 1: 27-31) So I encourage you (and myself) to keep blazing ahead. There is purpose in each day that we are on Earth. “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:12-13) “He has saved us and called us to a holy life not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.” (2 Timothy 1:9) As impatient as I am, I can still say God’s timing is perfect. I love how He can communicate to us in so many ways; it could be through a scripture verse, a sermon, a social media post, or words of a person just to name a few. This happened to me right when my spirit needed it the most. I was minding my business right when the word came to without me realizing I even needed it. My family and I were watching an NBA game on Christmas when my sister-in-law said clear as day, “I just saw your baby.” I was confused because at the time I was leaning over and I thought she was referencing a food baby (we had just eaten not too long before) but no she was referencing an actual baby! She said she had a vision that a small boy (my brown skin, brown haired child as she described) was hanging near my feet as he learned to walk. It’s crazy because it wasn’t a dramatic moment like you’d see in an episode of That’s So Raven when time froze or a movie scene where we heard God’s voice. But at that moment I felt such a peace that I knew the vision had to come from God. It was like a quiet whisper from Him that yes one day I would have a family and hey at least one boy (yay one less head of hair to worry about!) So at this moment I’m nowhere near having a family or child but thanks to her vision I have a new promise to hold on to, just like Abraham.
“He took him outside and said, ‘Look up at the heavens and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.’ Then he said to him, ‘So shall your offspring be.’” (Genesis 15:5) Commentary: Just when Abram was despairing of ever having an heir, God promised descendants too numerous to imagine. God’s blessings are beyond our imaginations! To think in one moment Abram went from the prospect of having no children to being a part of the ancestry that birthed the Savior of the Universe! How incredible! But I’ve found when God reveals a promise or vision it isn’t necessarily around the corner. When God spoke in Genesis 15 about Abram’s descendants it wasn’t until Genesis 21 when Isaac was born, about 15 years later. God’s time is not our time. “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” (2 Peter 3:8) And if you’ve been promised something but haven’t seen it come to fruition yet remember… “God is not man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” (Numbers 23:19) Another year is coming to a close and I don’t know about you but 2016 went by fast for me! As a new year stands before us it’s always a good time to look ahead and try to make improvements. Going into the new year I like to think of the analogy of packing for a trip but it’s like we can’t come back (who can redo a year?) So we have to pack smart and light; only bringing the essentials. So what am I packing for 2017 and what am I leaving in 2016? As far as essential items of course have to pack my faith; where would I be without it? I would literally be hopeless in this broken world.
“But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. I lie down and sleep; I wake up again, because the Lord sustains me.” (Psalm 3: 3-5) Also it’s only through faith that I can accomplish God’s will for my life. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15: 5) What will I be leaving behind? Some people; people who didn’t build me up; people whose time in my life has come to an end. “Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong…Commit your way to the Lord; trust him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.” (Psalm 37: 1; 5-6) “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love with follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23:5-6) “I know you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.” (Job 42:2) I’m trusting 2017 brings breakthroughs and blessings in my life and yours! God Bless! Right now I’m in a season of fighting, and you may be too. The fights I’m facing are emotional and spiritual. Emotionally I’m fighting the usual sentiments associated with a breakup: doubt, fear, loneliness. Something that helps in the fight is guarding my heart; that means no songs that would put me in my feelings, no looking through old pictures, only moving forward. “Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life…let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.” (Proverbs 4: 23; 25) And in the midst of the fight, I’m trusting God’s timing and plans. “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever—do not abandon the works of your hands.” (Psalm 138:8) Another fight is putting in the daily work toward a bigger dream or goal. It is easy to get discouraged in the toil of the day to day and ask God when is my breakthrough? But God is developing us in the day to day. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1: 2-4) So let us not give up the race when we’re so close to the finish line! “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12: 1-3
I feel like life is a constant balance of being content in where you are while striving to reach where you want to go. I know I get frustrated sometimes feeling like I’m so far from where I want to be but I have to remind myself how far I’ve come and how richly God has blessed me. God doesn’t owe me anything; He’s not indebted to me in anyway. The fact that the Supreme Being of the universe sees fit to wake me up every day and has a plan for my life is enough to put a spring in my step. And the fact He saw fit to send His Son to die a painful, shameful death on a cross for us is reason to shout but I also have another reason to be especially grateful for life: May 19, 2008. Now the fact that God spared me on May 19, 2008, reminds me that at 17 I had not yet fulfilled the purpose He had for my life. While I near the 10-year anniversary of my wreck I still cry when I think about how God spared me and how so many people in less severe accidents weren’t as fortunate. I’m really blessed in that whenever I’m feeling down I can quickly flip through a book people signed during my hospital stay after my accident; the posts keep me going. Some excerpts: “I’m very proud of you for being so strong and hope you realize that God has you in His favor. You are a living testimony and your perseverance will impact people’s lives in ways you will never know.” “You are the apple of God’s eye. God has a beautiful plan and purpose for your life. God used you for His glory. God’s love and protection will always be wrapped around you.” The other day when I was in prayer, God really shook me in my spirit and let me know what I’m going though and the route I take to get to my dreams isn’t necessarily about me but the people I can inspire and affect. And that really humbled me and gave me fuel to carry on; it helped to adjust my vision long term. When you focus your vision on long-term goals and dreams it helps put the short-term in perspective. Problems in the present become minuscule; issues and moments of opposition become teaching moments that help you grow. I’m convinced every pain we go through is not in vain but if we don’t let it defeat us, that pain can be used for our good. “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20)
I hope you’re encouraged to keep striving towards your dreams even when things look discouraging in the short-term. With a little work and faith, I believe anything is possible. “God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.” (Hebrews 6:10) |
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