Closed doors are not exciting. It is so much easier to embrace open doors and recognize the blessings in those. But I’m finding closed doors can be blessings from God too. But I think accepting closed doors from God requires more faith. We have to trust that while what we can see behind the door looks good, God can see beyond what we can see and what’s down the line is not for our good. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3: 5-6) Recently, I encountered a closed door in a relationship; and I didn’t see it coming. Rather, let me say I encountered a slammed door in a relationship and I may have seen it coming if I was honest with myself. For awhile God may have been trying to close that door but I kept propping it open. In the gloss and shine of a new relationship I ignored God’s gentle hand prompting me to leave that path and guide me to a new destination; a road I would not be able to travel with that person. As God allowed me a glimpse behind the door He closed, I saw abandonment and myself deterring from the path He had laid out for me. And while I don’t know exactly where God’s taking me I’m sure it’ll be great for me (and you too!)
“ ‘No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.’” 1 Corinthians 2: 9 So I’m not saying embracing closed doors is easy or something that happens overnight but I’m willing to fight through the pain and trust that what God has in front of me is far better than anything that is behind me. “Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.” Psalm 40: 5
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“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22) Recently, I’ve seen the truth in this scripture first hand. I had to tap into the power of positivity to carry me through what I thought would be a grueling stretch: 8 work days in a row with each day being 9-10 hours in a high-stress environment. And while at times it seemed each day crawled by, before I knew it, I was looking up and I was on day 8…in one piece. And the crazy thing was I can recall other instances where I’d been tasked to work 6 days in a row and by that 6th day I was crawling on my knees to reach the finish line. So what was the difference this time? My mindset. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5) Throughout the whole stretch I knew I had to lean on God. I looked ahead to my glorious 3 off days on the horizon after the stretch was complete but kept a tunnel vision to each day’s tasks. I asked God to help me not focus or dwell on the people who were coming and going in the midst of my 8-day stretch; who were embarking on vacations as I produced and managed two newscasts a day but rather just focus on my portion.
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” (Lamentations 3: 22-24) And although I wouldn’t be the first one to volunteer to work 8 long days in a row; I’m glad I went through the experience. It is another experience I can use in future days if I need to dig deep. I’ll know I have the strength to make it though the next obstacle and I’ll remember God’s past faithfulness. “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4: 12-13) I believe God answers our prayers in the most unique ways. I mean really, who could begin to fully conceptualize God and the extent of His power? “As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.” (Ecclesiastes 11:5) “Then I saw all that God has done. No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all his efforts to search it out, man cannot discover its meaning. Even if a wise man claims he knows, he cannot really comprehend it.” (Ecclesiastes 8:17) The other day I found myself asking God to help me with my ungrateful spirit. A lot of my ingratitude stems from knowing what I want to do professionally but not being there or seeing a clear path. So my impatience and frustration causes me to resent God when in actuality it’s not time for said doors to be open. I’m confident I am not lacking anything God would have me to have right now. But an interesting thing happened as I asked God to help with my ingratitude; He opened my eyes to see how much I had in comparison to others.
So I’m not saying I have conquered ingratitude but a got a few reminders that I have so much to be thankful for. “Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” (Psalm 100:3-5)
So I encourage you to go to God in prayer; He’s listening. “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” (1 John 5:14-15) Growing up is a minute process; something you don’t notice everyday but when you step back you can see how far you’ve progressed. Now as far as physical growth I’m pretty sure I’m done developing as an adult but spiritually the opportunities are boundless. “Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God, instruction about baptisms, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. And God permitting, we will do so.” (Hebrews 6: 1-3) “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” (Matthew 5:6) While physical growth can be detected with scales and measuring sticks; I believe spiritual growth can be detected through being put in similar situations and reacting differently. An area of my life I can see a lot of growth in is my attitude at work.
God is giving me a teachable spirit able to receive criticism and feedback, something I get nearly every day in the TV business. Generally, if nothing’s said you did your job but if a conversation is to be had, you did not meet the bar that day. So one day I found myself in the manager’s office with my tail in between my legs so to speak; I knew I didn’t have a good newscast. But thanks to being in similar scenarios two years ago at my first job I had a broader perspective and knew a mistake was not the end of the world. I had a sense of peace; situations that would have brought me to tears two years ago now don’t faze me as much. And I think it’s so cool how God can use our growth to help others. The other day a coworker came to me in tears after what she thought was a bad show, having experienced similar situations I was able to comfort her and the amazing thing was I consider this person a nemesis of sorts. We’ve never gotten into any physical fights or dramatic arguments but we just never meshed well; like oil and water. Nonetheless I feel it was an opportunity for me to grow; build her up and not relish in her pain. In hindsight, I could see myself in her; where I was two years ago in my first job; trying to be an authoritative young person and not wear my emotions on my sleeve. I was grateful for the opportunity to help and hope my words made a difference. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.” Colossians 3: 16 It’s funny how you can enter a conversation with someone expecting to take away one thing and leave with something completely different. That happened the other day with my brother; what began as a chat on careers and professional strategy ended as a lesson on faith and instructions on how to effectively execute quiet time. My brother touched on communicating with God early in the day; giving Him the first fruits of our time. When I first wake up I may utter a “thank you” to God but immediately check my phone to see if I missed any calls or texts and then scroll through my social media pages to see if I have any notifications. In those precious first moments of my day, I’m mindless scrolling and comparing myself against others’ accomplishments when I could be going to God for strength and instructions on how to conquer the day ahead. When I think first fruits, I think tithes but God wants first everything. “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6: 33)
Commentary: What is really important to you? People, objects, goals, and other desires all compete for priority. Any of these can quickly become most important to you if you don’t actively choose to give God first place in every area of your life. So this past week I went about putting God first and let me tell you I can see and feel a difference! One of the most clear areas I can see a difference is at work. I feel lighter and not as tense. It’s like my spirit is being filled and I have more of myself to give; more compliments to share; more smiles to spread. “When they had crossed, Elijah said to Elisha, ‘Tell me, what can I do for you before I am taken from you?’ ‘Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit.’ Elisa replied.” (2 Kings 2:9) Commentary: God granted Elisha’s request because Elisha’ motives were pure. If our motives are pure, we don’t have to be afraid to ask great things from God. To have the Holy Spirit’s help, we must be willing to ask. So given my experience, I definitely encourage you to seek God first and give Him the first fruits of your time; I’m sure you’ll see tangible blessings as a result! I’m not a huge jewelry person but most days you can find me in a pair of studs and my Alabama class ring. I’m also not the most observant person but one day last week I was laying on my couch and noticed my right ring finger felt bare. I noticed I wasn’t wearing my ring but I shrugged it off and decided I’d look for it the next day. But when the ring wasn’t in its usual spot in my jewelry box, my car, or anywhere at my job I started to panic. I racked my brain of all the places I had visited in recent days and began to call local businesses to see if they had found a gold Alabama ring. No luck. I couldn’t take my mind off my ring, but resolved I would find it and decided to go to sleep…or so I thought. I woke up at 4am with my ring on my mind. I knew it had to be somewhere in my apartment or my car. So since it was a workday I figured I’d search for a little bit and go back to sleep since I had to be up just after 7 a.m. But luckily it didn’t take long for me to find my ring, it was in the bottom of my work bag. This work bag was the same bag on my shoulder the previous day as I lamented to my coworker about my fears. I contemplated sending a station wide email out to see if anyone had seen my ring. Once I found the ring I kissed it and climbed back in bed. I was so joyful. I hadn’t looked into the option of ordering another ring from Balfour but I knew it wouldn’t be cheap. I just knew I had to find it. While I was feeling the joy of finding my ring I immediately thought of God. A scripture that came to mind: “Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one, does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.'” In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” (Luke 15:8-10) Finding my ring helped illustrate that scripture for me; it really encouraged me to be persistent trying to reach people. I’m convinced God doesn’t give up on any of His lost sons and daughters until the end of time and I don’t want to either. I imagine my life much like how I approached track in high school—leave everything on the track and give it my all crossing the line. I want to do the same in life and hopefully during my race I can encourage people through my walk and talk and help guide them to a relationship with Jesus.
“…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart…therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.” (Hebrews 12: 1-3; 12) To me, 2015 was a blur; the fastest year of my life. Yes, I started a new job but that’s really the only major milestone I can recall. A lot of times in life I find myself hoping to enter a new phase or try to get to some end destination I’ve dreamt up in my head without being present in the current state. This year I want to make a change. I want to be present in 2016. Sure time will continue to pass but I don’t want to let it pass as I wait for things to happen but rather improve myself along the way. Recently I heard a good Word at church about being hopeful getting to the dream. The message talked about Joseph and God allowing him to go through some things to make sure he was mature enough for his dream. The message picks up in Genesis 50 where Joseph’s dream is fulfilled; however, Joseph first realized his dream in Genesis 37. The message talked about how God will use isolation as preparation i.e. Joseph’s time in prison. The pastor also made a point to say we should maximize our moments of isolation so we don’t waste the preparation time before the manifestation of our dreams. An example he gave was we shouldn’t be asking God for a husband but just sitting around; maybe we should start to cook and clean in the isolation period. Just like an athlete trains in the off season ahead of the anticipated season. I can definitely relate to this last analogy since I ran track for 6 years, our coach would let us know the workout waiting for us once we returned from the holidays but it was up to us to prepare for it over the break. Overall, I was encouraged by the message and reminded we have to be patient and hopeful as we wait for our dreams to be fulfilled. But as I wait for my dreams to be fulfilled I’m going to be present and utilize the isolation and preparation period. As I wait for Mr. Right to show up and as I wait to enter my dream profession I will maximize the isolation period. I will cultivate my hobbies i.e. try new recipes, expand my makeup skills, rise to the call to be a leader at work and not shrink from responsibilities. I can’t help but imagine the greater the isolation and preparation the greater the placement. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)
Commentary: Instead of complaining about our struggles, we should see them as opportunities for growth. God will not leave you alone with your problems; He will stay close and help you grow. Just as God was with Joseph in the pit before he was sold into slavery (Genesis 37: 24-36), God meets us in our pits. But, God doesn’t leave us there; He uses our pits as platforms. Just as Joseph was taken from the pit to Potiphar’s house, who knows where our pits will lead to? “But he said to me ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12: 9 Commentary: We must rely on God for our effectiveness rather than simply on our own energy, effort, or talent. Our weakness not only helps develop Christian character; it also deepens our worship, because in admitting our weakness, we affirm God’s strength. I’m really excited for 2016. I mean really excited not a generic excited to start fresh but a real anticipation is building; an expectation. I’m expecting blessings. I feel like 2015 was a trying year of tests I feel like it was a quiet rebuilding year for me; not quiet in the sense that nothing was happening but quiet in the sense that things were happening that I couldn’t see. “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3: 11 “Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgements, and his paths beyond tracing out.” Romans 11:33 “He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.” Job 5:9 I believe through those various tests I was sowing seeds. I’m trusting in 2016 I will see some of those seeds bloom.
“Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.” Psalm 126:5-6. So hopefully by year’s end in 2016 I will be typing about victories and success, I wish you all the same as well! “But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:57 I hear God the most when I am my most bare. I’m striving to put my devices down and spend more time with God, but I admit I struggle sometimes to look away and unplug. Not too long ago I heard from God in the shower. The bathroom is where I hear from God the most because I have no distractions; no phone, no TV. I can’t remember what I was thinking about, but God told me as clear as day, “If you were meant to live [insert person’s name]’s life, then you would have been born that person.”
I know I’ve heard from God when the message is so simple yet so profound at the same time. To know this truth puts my mind at ease. In the wake of social media and being bombarded with dozens of people’s highlights every day, it’s easy to compare. God had to remind me that He makes no mistakes, and nothing catches Him off guard. I’m exactly where I need to be and I’m exactly who I’m meant to be. I’m not quite sure what impact I will leave on the Earth but the world needs Marilyn Renee Vaughn, not another [insert person’s name]. I had another cool revelation not too long after this one was when I was reading the 1 Corinthians chapter on love. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7) After reading this I realized…hey maybe I’ve never been “in love.” It’s easy to look back on past relationships and relish in the good times, but this scripture reminds me that what I was looking back on wasn’t love. Particular portions that jump out to me are “not self-seeking” and “keeps no record of wrongs.” Most relationships I had in the past were not healthy and didn’t hit many of the characteristics in this passage. But moving forward I do have a blueprint to match. I’m always confident in God that one day I will find His definition of love. “Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one's house for love, it would be utterly scorned.” (Song of Songs 8:6-7) When I was setting about finding this next job, I didn’t intend for the search to become a great test of my faith. I thought I’d find something with ease early and be relaxed my last few months on the job. Boy was I wrong! It’s like God knew the only way my faith would grow would be if I was depending solely on Him. A verse I really leaned on/adopted as my mantra: “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17: 7-8) I would constantly tell myself this verse when I was rejected for a job or not contacted for a follow-up interview. But at the same time, I knew I couldn’t just take the first thing I was offered. I was testing my faith in this way too. I was trusting God to have a good job for me. My criteria weren’t too extensive and really boiled down to three things: I didn’t want to work overnights again, I wanted to make more money, and I wanted to be in a larger city (closer to home was a bonus)! And you know what, I got all three! And because God is amazing, I’m also working in a city where my sister-in-law’s family lives, and also getting to work with a few former co-workers. I’m so glad I didn’t settle for earlier jobs I was offered. I was stepping out on faith and trusting God had the right next job for me. “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1) Commentary in my Bible (Life Application Study Bible) for this verse says, “When we believe that God will fulfill his promises even though we don’t see those promises materializing yet, we demonstrate true faith.” More commentary also says, “Faith is the confidence based on past experience that God’s new and fresh surprises will surely be ours.” Through this whole process, I was able to lean on past experiences, namely my 2008 wreck as proof of God’s promises. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) I encourage you to step out on faith, you won’t regret it! |
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